Finding a Proper Perspective

I’m at a block party in a neighborhood where I know no one. We’re on the street in front of the home my son recently moved into, me and a circle of young parents. My son is creating a blended family here with the love of his life. But, he is missing today, and I feel as disconnected as a broken modem.

What’s wrong with me? I wonder. Why can’t I talk with the nice people?

The group is laughing at stories about raising their children, the little ones who dart around us. I see them all as on a TV screen. I’m that separate. I remember my own children when they played in a different street, in a time before AI and smart phones. I can laugh along, but I cannot converse with the people on the screen.

So, I leave and go inside the house where my son and grandson now live. I wander the rooms, memorizing details in order to hurry towards a future when I will no longer be a stranger here. The rooms don’t yet have their smell. I look for signs of them. Hiding behind a sofa is the table where we celebrated birthdays in the old house. In the den, I spot a picture of Grandpa, then a familiar discarded shoe. I sigh.

But today’s people are in the street, so I must return. I stand on the porch, forcing myself to enjoy the view: a boy on a curiously-wheeled vehicle, men and women enjoying each other before they bring out the grill, the brats and bean salad.

Suddenly, my eye catches a sunbeam just above the porch railing. A mere foot away, motionless atop a feathery white blossom, sits a monarch butterfly. Time and my breath stop. The sunbeam reflects off her pale under-wing and hits me with a bolt of – joy! Amazing.

The vision sparks an electric brain surge. The monarch has jolted me into a proper perspective. The world I now see has blotted out any thought of alienation. It is made of a monarch’s reality and the realities of every other creature, a world indifferent to my ego. Together, we are equally important, equally miniscule: humankind in a sea of species.

I belong in that world. I don’t just watch it on a screen. Right here, right now is home, just as it is for the butterfly. Whatever comes next, I’ll be there, too. For now, I can’t wait to join those people in the street. I wink at the monarch and descend the stairs.